Rendevouz with Destiny
George
Bernard Shaw:
He
who has never hoped can never despair.
Back
to the year of 2002, I was a rookie in “dream big” way of
thinking. I was not aware of the broken heart that this thinking may
cause. I was not aware of the competition to get my dream come true.
It could be predicted or guessed easily that I didn’t go for the
next war. But, I didn’t stop there. I kept my dream alive during my
study in uni. For the whole 4 years, I was so patient to wait the
time for me to finally make this dream come true. Exactly 4 years
after the first turn-down, I made my come back, thinking better
prepared. I was better this time. I could hit the room where there
were five people in front of me, wishing to know about me better than
in the paper. I received no follow up call or notice. I was again
brokenhearted. There was mixture feeling. Thinking that I was tired,
I wanted to stop right there. Thinking there’s other shots for me,
I kept moving on. I have no idea whether it is my denial to the
things that I fail to get or it’s my motivation to move on and
believe in the “dream big” scenario, but I once again made my
come back to 2007 year round. This time I was worse than the previous
year. I had to endure another broken heart. I don’t know how I can
forget all the hurting feeling and I kept move on. I chose different
destination this time, thinking that maybe I would have better luck
there. Yesterday, that letter came to me. The letter did not come to
make me happy, but to give more wound to my already wounded heart. I
don’t have my luck there. But, I don’t know it’s me or my
denial to accept the failures, I definitely will make my come back.
Preemo ^_^
